"Real Men of Genius"....

I was on espn.com, checking into whether Tiger's knee was "organized" enough to make the US Open, when I saw an idea contest for the Budweiser "Real Men of Genius" ads.

I couldn't help myself. Here's my entry letter:


This is a little rough. You Genius Beer Ad Guys may have to fluff it a bit.

Real Men of Genius: The Incredibly Intelligent Beer Ad Guy.

Voiceover: You’ve always been a genius - from that first year of pre-school in East Hampton, through that BA in BS at Columbia, on through to Honors at Haaaavaad School of Bizniss and your currently very gainful employment for whoever is lucky enough to have Budweiser’s advertising contract.

Sure, it’s not Geico, with that funny little green Aussie, but this ain't Aussie beer. You're throwing ad ideas for America's #1 mass-produced weak-ass-Kool-Aid of a beer around a table full of other incredibly intelligent ad-persons while drinking expensive mineral water from France.

You’re nothing like the people you work the pitch for. And when you throw that pitch at them, they know it, 'cause you throw like a girl. You're sailing off Montauk, weekends. You’ve never eaten a hotdog. You recycle Kitty Delight Tuna - not beer - cans. You had beer once, and it made you sick. You PLAY Polo, but wouldn't be caught dead in the shirts or the cheap cologne. You know what to do with an Ascot. Heck, you are an Ascot. And you still confuse that funny look they're giving you with admiration.

Life is good.

So here’s to YOU, Mr. Incredibly Intelligent Beer Ad Guy.