Well, when I was a kid (kid, get it?) we didn't show goats, we showed real Pygmies, damn it.
Yeah, and we didn't buy 'em at auction, either; we went to South America, rounded up our own damn Pygmies, took their little blowguns away, and then trudged through the Rainforest, loaded 'em on boats and brought 'em back to the farm!
Then we put 'em in a pen, fed 'em real good and then put 'em in the pickup, took 'em to the Fairfield County Fair, and showed 'em. Then, of course, we were sad, 'cause dad had'ta kill 'em. But that's what they're for!
Heck, one time, I showed my Pygmies at the Ohio State Fair! Yeah, and Governor Gilligan slept overnight with MY Pygmies!** He said that MaryAnn and Ginger couldn't make it, so in their honor; I renamed two of my Pygmies "MaryAnn" and "Ginger".
They tasted good.
** It's a long-standing tradition in Ohio that the Governor sleeps over in a stall at the stockbarns one night during the run of the State Fair.
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