Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The "My Favorite Band Sucks And I'm A Lemming" T-Shirt...

"My Favorite Band Sucks" or Crap Seeks It's Own Level.

It should be a T-Shirt. And I am convinced that the majority of you lemmings should be wearing it. Send me my money now.

If you listen to pop/country radio and worship at the feet of mega-record company made and marketed "stars" created in studios then you should be wearing that shirt.

Here's a test: go to the credits of your favorite "musician's" latest cd and check to see how many songs they "co-wrote".

Some of these "stars" never see the songs they supposedly wrote until time to rehearse for the recording.

It's a common practice for the publishing company for these created "stars" to buy songs outright - then list the "star" as the writer. An even more common practice is for the publisher for these "stars" to mine available pitched songs and then offer the real songwriter a conditional deal to get the song published: add the "star" as co-writer. Adding the "star" as co-writer often cuts the take of the publishing rights in half, effectively giving the real writer half what he or she deserves.

Most people listen to what the mainstream media and record companies provide -- although that is slowly getting better. In short, they listen to what they know, which is crap (most popular culture), and without "enlightenment" their taste stays at the level of crap. And, for some strange reason, people who will put up with JW's and Mormans calling at the door don't like it when you are honest about something as personal as their taste in music. It's like you called their baby butt-ugly.

You call 'em like you see 'em.

Your music is crap and your baby's butt-ugly.

One of those you can fix through the enlightenment of education.

Call me an elitist, I guess. Been called worse.

Friday, September 11, 2009


Leap, by Brian Doyle

A couple leaped from the south tower, hand in hand. They reached for each other and their hands met and they jumped.

Jennifer Brickhouse saw them falling, hand in hand.

Many people jumped. Perhaps hundreds. No one knows. They struck the pavement with such force that there was a pink mist in the air.

The mayor reported the mist.

A kindergarten boy who saw people falling in flames told his teacher that the birds were on fire. She ran with him on her shoulders out of the ashes.

Tiffany Keeling saw fireballs falling that she later realized were people. Jennifer Griffin saw people falling and wept as she told the story. Niko Winstral saw people free-falling backwards with their hands out, like they were parachuting. Joe Duncan on his roof on Duane Street looked up and saw people jumping. Henry Weintraub saw people "leaping as they flew out." John Carson saw six people fall, "falling over themselves, falling, they were somersaulting." Steve Miller saw people jumping from a thousand feet in the air. Kirk Kjeldsen saw people flailing on the way down, people lining up and jumping, "too many people falling." Jane Tedder saw people leaping and the sight haunts her at night. Steve Tamas counted fourteen people jumping and then he stopped counting. Stuart DeHann saw one woman's dress billowing as she fell, and he saw a shirtless man falling end over end, and he too saw the couple leaping hand in hand.

Several pedestrians were killed by people falling from the sky. A fireman was killed by a body falling from the sky.

But he reached for her hand and she reached for his hand and they leaped out the window holding hands.

I try to whisper prayers for the sudden dead and the harrowed families of the dead and the screaming souls of the murderers but I keep coming back to his hand and her hand nestled in each other with such extraordinary ordinary succinct ancient naked stunning perfect simple ferocious love.

Their hands reaching and joining are the most powerful prayer I can imagine, the most eloquent, the most graceful. It is everything that we are capable of against horror and loss and death. It is what makes me believe that we are not craven fools and charlatans to believe in God, to believe that human beings have greatness and holiness within them like seeds that open only under great fires, to believe that some unimaginable essence of who we are persists past the dissolution of what we were, to believe against such evil hourly evidence that love is why we are here.

No one knows who they were: husband and wife, lovers, dear friends, colleagues, strangers thrown together at the window there at the lip of hell. Maybe they didn't even reach for each other consciously, maybe it was instinctive, a reflex, as they both decided at the same time to take two running steps and jump out the shattered window, but they did reach for each other, and they held on tight, and leaped, and fell endlessly into the smoking canyon, at two hundred miles an hour, falling so far and so fast that they would have blacked out before they hit the pavement near Liberty Street so hard that there was a pink mist in the air.

Jennifer Brickhouse saw them holding hands, and Stuart DeHann saw them holding hands, and I hold onto that.

Copyright 2002 by Brian Doyle.

Brian Doyle is the editor of Portland Magazine at the University of Portland in Oregon. He is the author of three collections of essays: Credo, Saints Passionate & Peculiar, and (with his father Jim Doyle) Two Voices. Doyle's essays have been reprinted in the Best American Essays anthologies for 1998 and 1999.